party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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