he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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