I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
