Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
