Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize