Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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