Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
