TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
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The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
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