Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
