sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
