you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize