I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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