Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
