Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
