No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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