I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
