I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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