this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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