Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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