great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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