Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
