I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
