Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
