Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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