In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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