if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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