Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
