he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
