i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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