puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's never too late to be topless.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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