Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize