The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
