I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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