i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
