His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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