the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your cock deserves a montage
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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