Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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