I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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