Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize