Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize