if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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