exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
