my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
