But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
