Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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