dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
