She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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