and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
