Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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