I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
