my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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