That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
