Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
