How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.