my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I believe in your delicious
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....