the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
