But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wish my penis had a tongue
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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