We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
