If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Green mimosas i think yes
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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