Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
